Thursday, September 17, 2009
The Last Day of Summer
The sun setting low -- filling the sky with shades of pinks and oranges -- shines dimly on the lake's surface. We run, laughing as we're chasing the ducks, screaming like little girls again. Sitting in the cold sand we reminisce about the hot summer days until tomorrow's reality is forgotten. Walking in the wet sand we leave our footprints behind only to be washed away by the last day of summer.
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I love reading this, its so true. You're so good at stream of concioiusness, it makes me jealous haha, keep up the good work :)
ReplyDeleteYour last sentence really made this entire piece sound really professional! I really loved reading this and think you have beautiful writing. In my opinion in your next journal response, you should have just a little bit more detail on the scene you were in so the reader can visualize it better. Your writing was so good that you almost didn't need more detail.
ReplyDeleteI really liked this piece, you are really good at this! Like Leah said, your last sentence tied up the whole story really well! Maybe next time you could make it longer and explain your surroundings and more of your thoughts. This was a really good entry!
ReplyDeleteI enjoyed reading this, it made me feel like it was the last day of summer again. I liked how you said that the footprints would be washed away by the last day of summer. I agree with Allie, maybe explain a little more, but otherwise, great job!
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